Celeb Jihad - The Only Celebrity Gossip Site Run by Islamic Extremists » Madonna

Nasty Madonna Topless Pics Leaked

Durka Durka — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 21:10:15 +0000

Former pop star and current grotesque old whore Madonna recently had the below topless pictures leaked to the Internet and they are nasty.

Looking at these topless Madonna pics is like coming down with a bad case of diarrhea in your eyes. Madonna’s body is nothing short of a war crime, and she should be prosecuted under international law for ever revealing it.

Honesty there is really no words to describe how bad Madonna looks in these pics. They should serve as a warning for all infidel women though. If you behave like Madonna and defy the will of Allah by prostituting your body and converting to Judaism, your punishment will be swift, just, and frighteningly terrible.

Madonna’s Daughter Lourdes Flaunts Breasts In A Bikini

Durka Durka — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 14:00:14 +0000

Proving the old Arab saying that “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… and Madonna and her daughter are sluts“, Madonna’s 15-year-old daughter Lourdes appeared in public wearing nothing but a skimpy bikini, brazenly flaunting her busty teen boobs.

This picture of Lourdes in a bikini comes right on the heels of the picture of Kim Kardashian’s 15-year-old half sister Kendall prostituting herself in a slutty cheerleader outfit. I am beginning to wonder if Western society has degraded to the point in which all 15-year-old girls are already tremendous whores.

One thing is for certain, we must find out for sure. That is why I am personally going to show up at a local high school (restraining order be damned) and I will proposition every 15-year-old girl I see. If they accept then we will know that 15-year-olds are without hope, and if they decline my advances (doubtful) then Lourdes and Kendall are isolated cases that must be dealt with before they infect others in their age group.

May Allah be with me and give me strength as I try to seduce my way to the truth. Allahu Akbar!

Madonna Linked to African Sweatshop

Jimmy Jihad — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:19:29 +0000

She is named after the mother of God, but to the 75 workers at this sweatshop in Botswana, the “Material Girl” is anything but. Here at this dingy factory 25 miles south of Orapa, pop-icon Madonna forces men, women and children to work in deplorable conditions for little or no pay.

In a scene that is familiar across the globe, the workers were lured to the factory with the promise of fair wages. However, when pay day arrived, the workers were told that they were being charged for food, shelter, and Madonna albums they thought were a gift. Since the fees incurred far surpassed their wages, the workers were told they would have to stay and work off their debt.

“When I arrived at the camp, I was given a copy of Madonna’s album, Hard Candy,” said Ian Lekoa, a former employee who escaped from the camp last month. “At the end of the month, they told me I owed $35 dollars for the album. I could not pay, so they beat me and made me work.”

Added Lekoa, “It was a horrible album.”

Madonna, who is said to personally oversee the camp via web cam, has also made several visits. She reportedly enjoys flogging workers who can not name her most recent albums.

“She ask me my favorite album, and I says to her, I say I love the Like a Virgin,” said Ashleigh, a young woman who worked at the camp until gangrene took her hands. “Then she say to name her a recent album, and when I couldn’t, she beat me with reeds until me passed out.”

Madonna is currently working on her new album, “Like a Virgin II: The Search for Curly’s Gold,” and was not available for comment.

What If Celebrities Became Their Names?

Durka Durka — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:09:00 +0000

What if instead of being the immoral, soul sucking, blasphemers that they are, celebrities became their names? Of course it would never happen because celebrities despise a humble pious life dedicated to the glory of Allah. Instead they wish to mock Allah and portray themselves as Gods.

However, thanks to the witchcraft of Photoshop we can envision a world were celebrities are not lauded as superiors, but rather humbled as productive members of society. Here is what it would look like if celebrities became their names.

Al Gore

Carrie Fisher

Dane Cook

David Letterman

Gary Coleman

George Foreman

Heath Ledger

Jude Law

Keira Knightley

Kelsey Grammer

Kevin Bacon

Kevin Spacey

Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong">

Larry King

Madonna

Minnie Driver

Natalie Portman

Nick Cage

Orlando Bloom

Penelope Cruz

Sigourney Weaver

Tom Cruise

Tori Spelling

Wesley Snipes

Will Smith

Winona Ryder

Madonna Inks Endorsement Deal For Vaginal Pessaries

Jimmy Jihad — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:07:48 +0000

Madonna (Left) | Vaginal Pessary (Right)

Madonna has reportedly inked a seven-figure endorsement deal with Hiltex, Inc., the world’s largest supplier of vaginal pessaries. A pessary is a small plastic or silicone medical device which is used for vaginal support and to offer a solution to incontinence and/or prolapse in older women.

“Madonna doesn’t want to slow down just because she’s over 50,” said Hiltex spokesperson Janet Lamar. “And nothing will slow you down faster than your well-worn uterus falling out on stage. That’s why Madonna only uses Hiltex brand vaginal pessaries, the pessary designed specifically for today’s older modern woman on the go.”

Madonna Has Never Eaten NYC Pizza

Jimmy Jihad — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:24:18 +0000

Madonna eating the leg of an adopted African child.

Madonna has put a lot of things in her mouth, but NYC Pizza isn’t one of them.

Apparently the pop star who is best known for acting like a whore and ruining the song American Pie has never gotten the urge to try New York’s signature dish, even though she’s lived in the damn city for over 30 years (although something tells us she’s had more than her share of NYC hot dogs…ZING!!!).

But David Letterman decided enough was enough, and took her next door for a slice. When Letterman asked what she liked on her pie, Madonna said, “That’s a very personal question.”

Get it! The old whore made a joke about her vagina! HAHHAHAHAH! Hilarious, Madonna! Still got it!

Madonna’s brother is our favorite catty bitch!

Jimmy Jihad — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:33:29 +0000

Madonna’s brother is a catty little bitch. Normally we don’t care for that, but since he’s directing his insults toward his sister, we’re thrilled.

Christopher Ciccone, who hasn’t spoken to his sister since he wrote a tell-all book about her last year, said that Madonna’s outfit at the MTV Music Video Awards looked like “Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong!” We have no idea what that means, but we’re sure it’s snarky!

He went on to mock his sister’s new man whore, saying “It’s painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow-dryer eludes him.”

The fact that I haven’t used a blow-dryer in 15 years isn’t going to stop me from laughing at that. HAHA! YOU GOT SERVED, MADONNA!

Madonna = Mary Poppins on Meth

Jimmy Jihad — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 16:34:14 +0000

If you’ve ever wondered what Mary Poppins would look like if she was on Meth, Madonna has been kind enough to show you.

This week, the Material “Girl” celebrated her 51st birthday in Italy by desperately trying to keep the sun from melting her thin layer of remaining skin.

This is Madonna’s first birthday since her break up with Guy Ritchie. But don’t worry, Madge, I’m sure this photo will cause Guy to come running back, or at the very least make it difficult for him to maintain an erection with the 20-something stripper he’s probably banging.

Happy Birthday, Madonna!

Madonna Looks Fantastic

Durka Durka — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:48:40 +0000

Damn Madonna is looking fine as hell! She was out in London the other day showing off her beautiful arms. I think they look like spider legs… sexy spider legs that is.

I bet she could rip my dick off and beat me with it. I’m getting hot just thinking about it.

Madonna Shows Off Her Man Arms

Jimmy Jihad — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:41:04 +0000

Who says you can’t be a sex symbol after 70? Allah, that’s who.

The “Material Girl” is back, and this time the “material” seems to consist mainly of male growth hormones she stole from A-Rod and old-lady skin.

But Madonna’s grotesque appearance isn’t slowing her down. This past weekend she kicked off her “Sticky and Sweet” tour in London. We can only assume that she’s referring to “Fixodent Control Plus Scope Flavor,” the only denture cream that provides the “stickiness” of Fixodent with the “sweet” freshness of Scope Mouthwash.