Hollywood is nothing but a vile cesspool of sex, and every so often this horrible truth is revealed in form of a celebrity sex tape.
Below are the top 15 celebrity sex tape videos ever released. Finally the true nature of the entertainment industry can be viewed in all its degenerate glory.
#15 Mimi Macpherson
Mimi Macpherson is a famous Australian “environmentalist”, and the younger sister of super model Elle Macpherson. She is also a tremendous whore, as you can see in the video below. Of course her one redeeming quality is that she appears to have a thick musty pubic bush, but after seeing this sex tape that won’t be enough to save her from a mujahideen stoning squad.
#14 Paris Hilton
You might be surprised to learn that Paris Hilton has 2 sex tapes. The video below is the less known one, because she doesn’t actually have sex in it. It is just a lot of dry humping, and some vagina flashing.
#13 Pamela Anderson & Brett Michaels
This Pamela Anderson sex tape with Poison frontman Brett Michaels appears to have been recorded off of a dirty VHS tape playing on a crappy TV.
#12 Gena Lee Nolin
I don’t know what is more disturbing, the gap between Baywatch star Gena Lee Nolin’s boobs, or the pedophile in the dress shirt she is banging… just kidding its definitely the gap between her boobs.
#11 Colin Farrell & Nicole Narain
Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain and actor Colin Farrell f*ck in this sex tape video. Now this is what I call a “black Irish”. *badum tish
#10 Keeley Hazell
English glamor model Keeley Hazell’s sex tape starts out well enough with her doing an adequate job sucking some dick. However, the last half of this video is just man ass bouncing up and down. Move the camera to the side you stupid bitch!
#9 Carolyn Murphy
Model Carolyn Murphy appears to be hopped up on Molly as she dances around like a retard, before riding a dick in this sex tape.
#8 Katie Price
Busty British model and reality TV star Katie Price gets f*cked with a vibrator, a dick, and a foot in this sex tape. Too bad the guy didn’t stick an IED up her snatch this could have been #1.
#7 Jenna Lewis
Jenna Lewis is a reality TV star from the first season of “Survivor”. In this video Jenna demonstrates the survival skills she learned on the show, as she procures vital nutrients from a man’s nut sack.
#6 Paris Hilton
This is the famous Paris Hilton sex tape, cleverly titled “One Night In Paris”. A little known fact about this sex tape is that it was actually filmed in a Marriott hotel room. What a kinky slut!
#5 Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee
In the first really big celebrity sex tape ever to be released, Pamela Anderson is filmed sucking and f*cking Tommy Lee’s average-sized (by Muslim standards) manhood while on their honeymoon.
#4 Kendra Wilkinson
In this sex tape Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson has sex with some Gomer looking retard (probably in exchange for meth) in his Mom’s trailer.
#3 Abi Titmuss
English actress and model Abi Titmuss has a threesome and dykes out with multiple women, including “Michonne” from AMC’s “Walking Dead”, in the sex tape video below.
#2 Miss Universe
A man (probably Muslim) bangs Miss Universe Trinidad and Miss Universe Japan in the ass in this epic threesome sex tape.
#1 Kim Kardashian
What can be said about this Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape which hasn’t already been said about a couple of baboons banging at the zoo? It is just a shame that the baboons don’t film it, and then pitch a reality show to E!. They could certainly give the Kardashians a run for their money.
Kim Kardashian flaunts her cleavage in these busty photos from her engagement party.
As you can see in the photos below, Kim Kardashian tried to make this engagement party a classy affair by singing gypsy tunes with her mother/pimp (here), getting drunk and telling her fiance Kanye West how many men she’s been with (here), and only brazen flaunting her breasts once (here).
All in all Kim was definitely on her best behavior. We will see if it will carry over to Kim’s chicken and waffle themed bachelorette party, being hosted in the Los Angeles Lakers’ locker room.
Kim Kardashian took to her Instagram to post a photo of her enormous post-pregnancy booty in a swimsuit.
This will no doubt be just the first of many slutty photos to come from Kim Kardashian in the next few weeks, as she has over 9 months of attention whoring to make up for.
Add to that the fact that Kim Kardashian’s sex life has slowed considerably with both football and basketball seasons now in full swing, and you have the conditions for a perfect storm of Kim Kardashian social media whoring. So batten down the hatches brothers we are in for a bumpy butt of a ride.
For the first time a photo of North West (the bastard mongrel spawn of porn star Kim Kardashian and rapper Kanye West) has been released.
As you can see in the photo above, North West is one ugly ass baby girl with a huge forehead, eyes set too far apart, a nose like a boxer, and the hairline of a 50-year-old man.
It must be tough for Kim Kardashian and Kanye to tell which end to diaper on this thing. Though since North is Kim’s daughter they probably just put the diaper on the bigger end.
In the civilized Islamic world we’d throw this monstrosity off a cliff along with Kim Kardashian for birthing the damn thing. Thankfully all Muslim babies are born well-formed with a gorgeous full head of hair, and impressive muscle tone.
Reportedly Kim Kardashian has not yet shown her daughter North West in public because she is worried that the baby is not black enough.
According to sources, Kim is extremely upset at how light-skinned her baby is, and has even gone as far as researching if they make tanning beds for babies. It is Kim’s worst nightmare that her daughter will end up being so light-skinned that people will mistake her for being white, and that then she’ll never have “swag”.
Kim Kardashian is trying everything she can to bring the black out of baby North West including, appealing generous amounts of bronzer, blasting baby daddy Kanye West’s rap music, using a chicken bone as a rattle, and giving her nightly baths in watermelon flavored Kool-Aid. So far she has had limited success.
Vivid Entertainment, the company behind the Kim Kardashian sex tape, is reportedly in talks to release the Kim Kardashian birth tape.
The 4 hour video was filmed this Saturday as Kim Kardashian gave birth to her bastard child with rapper Kanye West, and will be the first chance Kim Kardashian fans get to see fluids and a big black thing come OUT of Kim’s vagina.
Some highlights of the Kim Kardashian birth tape include:
- A disinterested Kanye West texting on his cell phone throughout the birth
- Kim’s mother Kris Jenner negotiating the rights with E! to televise the baby’s first BM
- The baby easily crawling out of Kim Kardashian gaping vagina hole
- Kim’s sister Khloe gnawing through the umbilical cord
- Stepfather Bruce Jenner devouring the afterbirth for its purported health benefits