Kate Gosselin is “upset” over the fact that her estranged husband Jon Gosselin has withdrawn $200,000 from the couple’s account, according to her lawyer. Considering that Kate used to get “upset” if Jon would speak out of turn, this has to be the understatement of the year.
People Magazine is reporting that Jon never told Kate about the withdrawal, and that Jon could be found in contempt of court since the couple was ordered not to make any “significant withdrawals.” People Magazine is also a horrible publication that should only be used to wipe one’s ass.
According to sources close to Jon, he as already spent about a third of the money on Axe Body Spray and Hair Gels, and plans to spend the remaining sum by taking his “bros” to Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville Las Vegas.
Jon Gosselin “wasn’t the best” in bed, according to the couple’s former nanny who also spent time moonlighting as a home-wrecking whore.
Stephanie Santoro, who claims to have had sex with Jon nine times, said that Jon “wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t the best I ever had.” I’m guessing that the best she’s ever had was the entire second-string defense for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
In all fairness to Jon, perhaps he was distracted by the nanny’s face, which obviously shows signs of Down’s. Also, it must have been hard for Jon to perform when his balls were locked up in Kate’s purse.
Like most Americans, I bust my ass day in and day out to collect a disability check. But it seems like every month a higher portion of my hard-earned money is going toward my cable bill. Why?
I’ll tell you why! It’s because of all these unemployed, white single mothers. Rather than get a useful TV job like “weather girl” or “softcore starlet,” these women just sit around and have a bunch of babies so they can live off handouts from the cable companies.
It makes me sick, but how can I blame them? Why should they work when they know those bleeding-heart TV executives and their mindless liberal policies have incentivized irresponsible behavior? The more kids these white women have, the bigger the handout.
Kate Gosselin: White! No job! No husband! Just 8 kids and bunch of stuff we paid for!
Octomom: White (whiter than I am, anyway)! No job! No man! 14 friggen kids from multiple fathers. When I see her driving around in her fancy SUV showing off her expensive lip injections it makes me sick!
Michelle Duggar: White! No job! At least she has a husband and teaches her 18 kids important things like right from wrong and how dinosaurs never existed. But answer me this; who is paying for all those fancy ankle-length denim dresses and her trendy bird’s nest hairdo! We are, that’s who!
I hate to paint all white women with the same brush, but stereotypes exist for a reason. I didn’t immigrate to this country and blow my legs off just so a bunch of lazy white parasites could jack up my cable bill.
Contact your congressman today and tell him to do something about all these white, unemployed single mothers.
