Here are the top 12 slutty celebrity social media pictures of the week.
#12 Gwyneth Paltrow
This picture of Gwyneth Paltrow in a bikini is actually pretty hot… that is if you imagine there is a rope around her neck and she is swinging from that tree.
#11 Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton in a bikini imitating Christ on the cross. A fitting tribute as both Paris and Jesus have had extra holes pounded into them.
#10 Jennette McCurdy
Nickelodeon star Jennette McCurdy photographs her hard nipples in a white dress. Either it is really cold in there or Jennette just finished reading the holy Qur’an.
#9 Kendall Jenner
Kendall Jenner shows off her long lean figure in a little black dress (with a lot of black guy spunk stains).
#8 Heidi Klum
Mudshark Heidi Klum beaches herself and struggles to breathe in the nude photo above.
#7 Sofia Vergara
Sofia Vergara tries to prove that not all Mexicans are good for nothing layabouts by exercising. She then takes a siesta and dreams about being on welfare.
#6 Alessandra Ambrosio
Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio poses with friends in a bikini. This photo looks just like my harem except the girls aren’t in burkas, and their bodies aren’t covered in bruises.
#5 Kelly Brook
Model Kelly Brook tries to entice a Muslim man to slither his enormous tunic snake up her tit valley.
#4 Aubrey O’Day
Former “Making The Band” star and confirmed coal burner slut Aubrey O’Day shows that having HIV is great for weight loss.
#3 Sarah Hyland
“Modern Family” star Sarah Hyland shows off her impish body in a bikini while lifting her butt cheek to silently pass gas.
#2 Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton demonstrates her black magic whore powers by actually appearing to have decent tits.
#1 Emily Ratakowski
Model Emily Ratakowski cleans up a few things in my kitchen in a rare moment of down time from pleasuring my massive Muslim meat scimitar.
Retired Aryan super model and uberwench Heidi Klum slips a nipple while dragging her nanny out to sea to drown her after finding out she is a Jew.
Normally a woman exposing her sinful nipple would result in a swift and brutal stoning, but Heidi Klum is clearly doing Allah’s work by drowning her Hebrew nanny.
Yes an exception can certainly be made for Heidi Klum’s nip slip in this case. Just a moderate flogging with stiff Nile reeds should be a sufficient punishment.
Former super model and recovering mudshark Heidi Klum shows off her saggy tits and ass in the topless thong pic above.
Though Heidi has finally come to her senses and dumped her hideous sub-Saharan husband Seal the damage to her body (and soul) has already been done.
Heidi Klum’s breasts now look like they belong on the cover of Nation Geographic not Vogue. This just goes to show what can happen to a woman’s body when she is repeatedly rode hard and put up wet by a savage.
After years of avoiding it out of stubborn vanity, Heidi Klum finally went to the optometrist this weekend, and is now divorcing Seal, her pot-marked oil spill of a husband.
No one knows for sure why Heidi Klum is filing for divorce from Seal, but it is safe to assume that it probably has something to do with her no longer being legally blind.
This divorce could get messy as Seal is the biological father of 3 of Heidi’s children, and the adopted father of Leni, Heidi’s white daughter from a previous marriage. However, Heidi is expected to offer to trade Seal the rights to the 3 darkies and the summer house in Malibu in exchange for Leni.
As you can see in the photos below, even after having 4 children Heidi Klum’s breasts remain as perky and offensive to Islam as ever. Leave it to an infidel like Heidi Klum to have tits that don’t have the common decency to become distorted and saggy after having children. Clearly Heidi’s gravity defying boobies are in violation of Allah’s natural laws.
If it was not bad enough that Heidi Klum’s tits are an unholy anomaly and an affront to Allah, Heidi makes matters worse by parading them out in public. Just because Heidi is married to some African tribesman who is as dark as night, it does not mean she should walk around topless. What is next is she going to wear a bone in her nose, and run around beating a drum?