Sarah Michelle Gellar sex

Many who have wondered what former “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” star and 90′s sex symbol Sarah Michelle Gellar has been up to in recent years can wonder no more, as she was caught having sex in the woods in the GIF above.

Yes as Sarah Michelle Gellar’s career in heathen Hollywood has fizzled out she has clearly taken to performing Satanic pagan sex rituals in the forest like the one in this GIF.

Unfortunately it is the innocent woodland creatures who must now suffer from seeing Sarah Michelle Gellar’s wanton displays of depravity. One can easily imagine an adorable little chipmunk crying itself to sleep at night after having witnessed Sarah Michelle Gellar riding this guy raw underneath its home in a willow tree. I think the animals would agree that it is better that every forest gets burnt to the ground, then to allow Sarah Michelle Gellar to continue using them as the setting for her degenerate sexcapades.

Sofia Vergara nip slip

“Modern Family” star Sofia Vergara suffered a nipple slip at an Emmys after-party when she was picked up and shaken upside by some homoqueer who was obviously hoping that Sofia was hiding some butt plugs and lube in her ample bosom.

Unfortunately for this dancing cream puff (and all of us) the only thing that popped out of Sofia Vergara’s dress was a good portion of her disgustingly sinful brown nipple.

Of course this sickening Sofia Vergara nip slip display would have been avoided if this party was thrown by a righteous Muslim. For Sofia would have been put to work as a caterer at the event with her fellow Mexican “amigos”, and this foppish tinkle toes would have been stoned outside in the courtyard before he could prance his way into the venue.


Sofia Vergara Sofia Vergara Sofia Vergara
Sofia Vergara Sofia Vergara Sofia Vergara

Iggy Azalea Jennifer Lopez butts

Jennifer Lopez and rapper Iggy Azalea compare their big butts on this single cover for the remix to Jennifer’s aptly titled song “Booty”.

The fact that both Jennifer and Iggy aren’t hooked up to harnesses and using their enormous rumps to plow a field speaks volumes about the degenerate and wasteful nature of Western culture. Us Muslims can not imagine allowing such fine pieces of farming equipment to deteriorate through careless misuse in the form of auto-tuned singing, dancing, and worst of all interracial sex.

Yes both Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea have blasphemously squandered the abundant booty gifts that Allah so graciously bestowed upon them. Truly he is a benevolent and forgiving God to allow both Jennifer and Iggy to go on living with just a nasty incurable case of militant gonorrhea as punishment for their crimes.

Jennifer Lawrence boob slip

Jennifer Lawrence’s boob slips out of her dress in this never before seen behind the scenes photo from the set of the critically acclaimed film “American Hustle”.

Anyone who has worked on a film with Jennifer Lawrence knows that she is notorious for flashing her sinful female sex organs on set. In fact a grip who worked with Jennifer on the “Hunger Games” had to go on disability for post-traumatic stress after Jennifer made him have a 30 minute staring contest with her brown eye.

Yes it is about time someone captured Jennifer Lawrence creating a hostile work environment by being a tremendously unprofessional whore. To think that the brave people who worked on this film had to look at Jennifer’s sloppy titty, and then go home at night to their families and try and act like everything is normal and that the world just didn’t become darker and more depressing place.

Nina Dobrev bikini

“The Vampire Diaries” star Nina Dobrev has really ballooned up this summer, as you can see in the photos below of her parading her meaty thighs around a yacht while in a bikini.

Clearly Nina Dobrev’s sudden weight gain is the result of her following the typical Western woman’s diet, which consists of eating tons of greasy fried foods and swallowing gallons upon gallons of man milk. If Nina Dobrev gets any fatter then she will almost certainly end up getting knocked up with a rapper’s mongrel interracial baby by Christmas.

Nina’s only hope to avoid this most cursed fate is to immediately develop an eating disorder (preferably anorexia but lets be honest she is clearly weak-willed so bulimia is probably her best bet). Nina should also keep a basketball handy at all times (perhaps she can stuff one under her rapidly expanding “gunt”), for she’ll never know when she’ll need to deploy a distraction as the abids can hone in on a thick white woman with low self-esteem from up to half a mile away.


Nina Dobrev Nina Dobrev Nina Dobrev
Nina Dobrev Nina Dobrev

Keira Knightley topless

Keira Knightly, star of “Pirates of the Caribbean” and chairwoman of the “Itty Bitty Titty Committee”, poses completely topless in the new issue of Interview magazine.

Clearly the reason Keira Knightley chose to show her tits in a magazine called “Interview” is because she has the good sense to recognize that as a woman she has absolutely nothing interesting to say. It is just too bad that more women do not follow Keira’s lead and realize that no one wants to hear about their menstrual cramps and favorite pie fillings, so they should just shut their f*cking mouths and show their tits.

Of course it is also unfortunate that most women don’t have breasts as pleasingly unfeminine as Keira Knightley’s. Why if Keira just slicked her hair back someone could easily mistake her for a holy Muslim dancing boy. I look forward to the day when the UK becomes a caliphate and Keira Knightley’s genitals are hacked up in accordance with Islamic law, thus finally making her fully nude body completely halal.