Above is Gary Coleman’s death bed picture which his ex-wife reportedly sold to The Globe for $10,000.
I for one would like to applaud Gary Coleman’s ex-wife for having the good sense to take this picture and profit from it. There is nothing sexier than a woman who has the good sense to see a good business opportunity in even the most dramatic of situations.
What is even more impressive is that she was composed enough to pose in the picture with the dying Gary Coleman. Now that is one level headed woman! Of course the pic would have been a little sexier if she was smiling and giving a thumbs up or perhaps one of those Myspace pouty faces while pressing her tits together.
Gary Coleman’s death was tragic… but only because now when our Celeb Jihad begins there is one less celebrity for us to righteously smite. However, the silver lining is that this picture proves the American public is hungry for dead celebrities, so I’ll be able to make a small fortune selling the pictures from my Jihading exploits.
Gary Coleman’s ex-wife, Shannon Price, is reportedly shopping around photos of her ex-huband’s lifeless corpse, according to TMZ. What makes the matter even more insulting is that she’s reportedly willing to part with the pics for “five figures.” I’ve paid more for elderly camels and post-pubescent girls.
These unruly American women have no dignity. She did not even bare children for Gary, and now she seeks to humiliate him, even in death! This is why Allah had the foresight to create burqas and female circumcision. If this woman had been trained from an early age, we would not be witnessing such a disgusting display. But thanks to shows like “The View” and the unholy invention known as the tampon, this is what society has become.
At least Gary’s misfortune has served as a waning. I’ve already taken precautions to make sure that this cannot happen to me. My wives and any unmarried daughters are to be burned alive in the event of my death, making such a betrayal impossible. Thank you for showing me the light, Gary Coleman.
Celeb Jihad has just obtained this exclusive photo of actor Gary Coleman’s coffin.
Gary Coleman, who was taken off life support and died last Friday, is apparently keeping quite nicely thanks to the insulated design of his custom coffin.
According to the manufacturer, Gary Coleman’s coffin is made up of top of the line hard plastics and can hold up to 36 beers with ice.
Gary Coleman’s coffin is not without some flair. It features the actors last name “Coleman” on the side, as well as a no grip slip handle and wheels, which we are told makes it great for tailgating.
Yes Gary Coleman will surely be resting in peace in this handy dandy top of the line Coleman 150 coffin.
CelebJihad has learned that actor Gary Coleman has died of an intracranial hemorrhage. The TV star and CelebJihad favorite was only 42.
Dr. James Miceli, a stroke specialist and assistant professor of neurology at the University of Detroit, says that serious intracranial hemorrhages involve a broken vessel inside the brain, but they can also occur on the surface of the brain or in the protective layers between the brain and the skull, proving that it takes “diff’rent strokes.”
RIP Gary.
What if instead of being the immoral, soul sucking, blasphemers that they are, celebrities became their names? Of course it would never happen because celebrities despise a humble pious life dedicated to the glory of Allah. Instead they wish to mock Allah and portray themselves as Gods.
However, thanks to the witchcraft of Photoshop we can envision a world were celebrities are not lauded as superiors, but rather humbled as productive members of society. Here is what it would look like if celebrities became their names.
Al Gore
Carrie Fisher
Dane Cook
David Letterman
Gary Coleman
George Foreman
Heath Ledger
Jude Law
Keira Knightley
Kelsey Grammer
Kevin Bacon
Kevin Spacey
Lance Armstrong
Larry King
Madonna
Minnie Driver
Natalie Portman
Nick Cage
Orlando Bloom
Penelope Cruz
Sigourney Weaver
Tom Cruise
Tori Spelling
Wesley Snipes
Will Smith
Winona Ryder
Here is a hot tip from Joey Del Vecchio Hoboken, NJAy how you guys doin? I was driving down the Jersey turnpike the other day and I stopped at one of those fuckin rest stops to use the little girls room, ayyy.
So I walk into the stall and who do I see floating in the bowl but Gary fuckin Coleman!
So I says
“Ay Gary how you doin?”
And that fuckin guy doesn’t even acknowledge me.
So I’m like
“Ay what am I fuckin invisible here? “
“You think you’re too much of a big shot to talk me? “
“With your fuckin fancy Hollywood toilet paper outfit there.”
No response. He just floated there acting like he didn’t hear me. I swear to fuckin God I almost lost it on that fuckin guy and charged the bowl.
Oh and PS he stunk like shit.
