Celeb Jihad has just learned that soon to be 16-year-old and Canadian songstress Justin Bieber has just got her first pube!
Justin was said to be frightened at first, but she had a nice long talk with her mom and is now excited that she is beginning her long overdue transformation into womanhood. No word yet if Justin has started getting her period, but we imagine with pubes popping up like they are it is only a matter of time.
For those who do not know who Justin Bieber is yet, she is a singer and song writer who is taking the world by storm. Justin was discovered on YouTube were she use to post videos of herself dancing in her underwear while lip singing Britney Spears songs. A music exec saw potential in the young beauty and flew her to Atlanta to get started on making horrible music for the hormonally charged teen masses. The rest as they say is history.
(Left) Police examine the crime scene. (Right) Larry Platt on American Idol.
“There were six or seven gang bangers in baggy pants hanging out in the parking lot, and this old guy walked up to them and started singing and dancing,” said Marcus Lee, the store’s owner. “When he got to the second verse, they started beating on him.”
“I called the police, but by the time they arrived you couldn’t even recognize his face because of all the blood.”
A memorial for Platt is planned for this Saturday.
Selena Gomez is the 17 year old star of the hit Disney show “Wizards of Waverly Place”. She also is incredibly absent minded and a terrible role model for young girls.
As the photos below show, Selena Gomez completely forgets to wear pants. How a woman could go out and have her picture taken without remembering to put on a decent pair of trousers is beyond me. Maybe her mind was hazy from all the black tar heroin and wild sex orgies these Disney stars seem to love to partake in.
Not only did Selena Gomez forget to put on pants, but the sweater she is wearing doesn’t seem to fit her at all. It is entirely too long. How could she possibly think that was a good fit for a sweater? She is practically swimming in it.
Selena Gomez is a terrible role model for young girls, and should be lashed with reeds immediately. As these pictures show she has a dubious fashion sense, and probably dresses herself in some drug and sex filled haze.
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The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods’ harem will have a negative effect on the black community, specifically young black girls.
“Why is it that a man who calls himself black can’t bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?” said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. “What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?”
Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today’s black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.
Added Sharpton, “I’m not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I’m just asking you to give back to your own community.”
Celeb Jihad has just learned that teen singing and acting sensation Demi Lovato poops in the woods! According to a good friend of Demi’s whenever she has to “take a wicked dump” she likes to run out into the woods behind her house and “pop a squat”.
First off this is disgusting and totally irresponsible. Did Demi ever think about what would happen if a bear happens by and steps in her poop? It is liable to go into a rage, find a small child, and rip its head off!
Also what if Demi farts by some dry leaves while she is out there. It could start a forest fire! I hope for Demi’s sake she has nothing to do with the wildfires outside of LA right now.
Demi has got to realize she is a role model and can not go running out and pooping in the woods whenever she feels like it. I really hope her fans know better then to try and imitate Demi, if not our nations forests could end up being engulfed by teen poop.
I can not believe Emma Watson did this! Doesn’t she know she is a role model for millions of young girls? I mean drinking a Corona at night is just crazy!
Everyone knows that white people should only drink Coronas during the day, preferably while outside. It makes them feel like day laborers. If you are a white girl drinking a Corona at night you might as well open up a burrito stand in your panties because you are basically saying “I want to have sex with a Mexican”, and that isn’t just stupid but it can also be dangerous.
Once you let one Mexican in your vag they are damn near impossible to get out. Not only that but they’ll bring their friends, family, pets ect. Next thing you know your whole vaginal infrastructure is under severe strain trying to support all the free loading Mexicans you got up in there.
Oh God no Emma, don’t ever pretend to be drunk after drinking one Corona. Nothing brings more joy to a Mexican then to take advantage of things. If you did this in a Home Depot parking lot you’d be liable to start a riot!
Emma Watson needs to realize that she is a role model, and by behaving like this she’ll overrun our country with Mexicans looking to have sex with ridiculously drunk chicks that American guys could be doing. Sure the Mexican apologists will tell you that they only do the ones no one else wants to do, but they fail to realize that after 16 shots I’ll do pretty much anything.
Lady Gaga clearly had something dangling between her legs at the Glastonbury festival in England. I may be wrong but it sure as hell looks like it was a penis to me.
This shouldn’t come as a big surprise to anyone. Lady Gaga is definitely ugly enough to be a tranny, and from the lyrics in her songs she is definitely slutty enough to be one as well.
Here is the video evidence for you to judge for yourself. Listen to what “it” mumbles when “it” gets off the bike. The penis makes its appearance at the 1:12 – 1:14 mark.
