I am happy to report that Miley Cyrus is alive and continuing her depraved Jihad against the infidel West by posing topless in a swimming pool in these outtake photos from Rolling Stone magazine.
We reported last week that Miley was decapitated by Kristen Stewart on orders from Hollywood’s Zionist cabal (source). However, we now know that the severed head in the photo belonged to homoqueer rapper Mackelmore, and not secret Muslimina Miley (an easy mistake to make).
In fact Miley Cyrus probably beheaded Mackelmore herself for daring to look like her and turning the once righteously masculine rap music into a platform for liberal faggotry.
Yes as you can see in these poolside topless photos, Miley Cyrus is back and degenerating Western culture better than ever. Praise be to Allah!
Jessica Alba creepily photographs small children on her cell phone while at the park in the photos below.
These Jessica Alba photos perfectly illustrate the hypocrisy and sexist double standards prevalent in the infidel West. Why is that Jessica can photograph these kids with her sex organs hanging out of her tight jeans and loose top, yet when a virile Muslim man like myself goes to the park and snaps some pics with his righteous man satchel hanging out the bottom of his tunic all of a sudden he is a “registered sex offender”?
Clearly something is not right here. It is only fair that Jessica Alba also be punished for creeping on these kids… I’ve heard 6 months in county jail, 2 years probation, and a restraining order is the standard sentence these days.
This holy Islamic extremist celebrity gossip website is under attack from buxom plus-size model Kate Upton (TMZ). Kate Upton dared to threaten legal action against this site for posting a topless outtake photo from her Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue photo shoot.
Of course it is absolutely absurd for Kate Upton to sue us over that topless picture (or the one above for that matter) for 2 reasons:
1) As pious Muslims we must only obey Shariah law, and thus can only be taken to trial in a Shariah court.
2) Kate Upton is a woman, and thus livestock. She has no legal rights under Shariah law. A perfect analogy would be a cow trying to sue a dairy farmer for pinching her teats.
As you can see the idea of Kate Upton suing us over these topless pictures is laughable. In fact we are so unconcerned by her legal threats that we are posting even more outtakes of Kate naked and getting pounded below.
I type this now with a heavy heart as the tears welling up in my eyes blur the words on the screen, but it appears as though our beloved secret Muslimina Miley Cyrus is dead!
As you can see in the photo above, Miley’s severed head lays on the floor while Satan worshiping “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart poses naked. One can only suspect that Kristen decapitated Miley on orders from Hollywood’s top Zionists, as Miley had given away so much depravity in recent months that they were having a tough time still profiting from pushing smut in crappy movies (like Twilight).
Rest assured that Miley Cyrus’ death will not go unpunished. As we speak mujahideen from Tehran to Tikrit are mounting their war camels and riding West, swearing to avenge Miley’s martyrdom by destroying all of heathen Hollywood… or at the very least twerking some in Hollywood’s general direction in her honor.
As us enormous and powerful Muslim men know, it is great to have a tiny imp of a girl like Hayden Panettiere in your harem as they make the best riders, can be spun like a top, and then pounded into oblivion.
Of course Hayden Panettiere knows that only a Muslim’s mighty manhood provides the necessary force for a good ride, that is why she is engaged to be married to champion boxer Wlad ‘Imir Klitschko of Ukrainistan.
Notice how Hayden’s ribs stick out as she takes Wlad ‘Imir’s meat scud deep inside her. It is crucial that Hayden maintain a high level of focus for one false move on such an enormous cock and she could rupture her spleen (something that infidel women with their tiny limp-dicked boyfriends would nothing about).
With winter coming to an end bikini season is right around the corner, and that means many of the obese she-cows that the infidels call “women” are going pry their bloated butts off the couch in a futile attempt to get in shape.
To profit off this short lived fitness craze, celebrities like Salma Hayek release exercise tapes which promise to transform these homely blobs into Hollywood beauties.
As you can see in the clip below, Salma Haydek’s exercise video features her bouncing her bosomy breasts (in what she calls “Breastercising™”) for 2 solid hours.
According to Salma, Breastercising™ has gotten her in fabulous shape as the weight from her massive bouncing titties works her core and burns fat. Only time will tell if this fitness fad will catch on.