With rumors of a Brad and Angelina break up swirling, Jennifer Aniston is reportedly hiding in the couple’s bathtub with a knife, patiently waiting to strike. The expected ambush comes just hours after Aniston kidnapped a ferret belonging to Pitt’s adopted son Maddox and boiled it alive.
“Jen is still very much in love with Brad,” a sources close to Aniston claimed. “It’s Jen’s hope that these drastic measures will show him just how much she really cares.”
Experts speculate that while Aniston is waiting for the couple to arrive home, she will likely scour all of the bathroom drains in an attempt to find hairs to add to her “Brad doll.”
US Weekly is reporting that Angelina Jolie can not stand Barack Obama. A source close to Angelina is quoted as saying,
“She hates him… She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise… Angie isn’t Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors”
By Muhammad’s beard! A celebrity with some political sense now I have seen everything! I must admit that Angelina’s attractiveness just increased greatly.
However according to my source close to Angelina the real reason she hates Obama is because he is African, but she can not adopt him.
Megan Fox has been drawing comparisons to Angelina Jolie ever since she covered her body in poorly thought out tattoos. Now, in yet another attempt to stop the media from commenting on the resemblance, she’s talking about it again.
“It’s a lack of creativity on the media’s part,” she said. “I am a brunette with tattoos, I curse, and I have made mention of sex before. I joked about it, which people find outrageous so they want to constantly compare that to her. You know, Shia is the new Tom Hanks, Rihanna is the new Beyonce. Everybody is the new somebody, although none of us are any of those people so you just walk around with it, you live with it.”
Let’s be honest here: Nobody cares anymore. The only person that still compares Megan Fox to Angelina Jolie is Megan Fox. Just close your mouth and show some cleavage to distract us from your hideous toe thumb, Megan.
