Despite living her life under a media microscope, it seems Selena Gomez can’t help but let her hurtful, bigoted attitude shine through. While stopping to pose for a picture with a fan, Selena belittled the man’s Asian heritage by contorting her eyes in a “squinting” pose. She might as well have asked him if he had any chop sticks, or maybe if he could help her with math.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, she went on to mock his disabilities. Like most of Selena’s fans, the person in this picture is clearly suffering from mental retardation. Sadly, Selena just couldn’t help but stick her tongue out in a mocking pose, as if to say “I hate retards because they drool all over the place.” Why she would want to alienate her core audience is beyond me.
In Saudi Arabia, my 2nd wife (who is also my 2nd cousin) and I had a child together, and unfortunately he was mentally challenged like the man in this picture. Rather than mock and ridicule him like people do in the West, we took extra care to make sure his needs were met. Not only did we let him eat and sleep in the bathtub, but we also kept his hands firmly tied to the ceiling fan to prevent him from unknowing committing the sin of masturbation. He went on to live a rich and productive life until we traded him to Bedouins for a crate of delicious figs. My point is, Selena needs to be a little more understanding when it comes to people with special needs, like Asians.
A routine trip to the liquor store ended in tragedy this afternoon, as Justin Bieber was found dead in the backseat of his mother’s car.
According to Los Angeles police, Bieber’s mother left the pop-star in the car with the windows rolled up as she shopped for Mad Dog 20/20 and Boones Farm Malted Beverage. Record temperatures reaching 113 Fahrenheit quickly overcame the singer, and by time she returned 15 minutes later, he was already dead.
“It was a really sad case,” said Officer David Zabel. “The little guy was clawing at the window as best he could, but because of his tiny arms, he never had a chance.”
Bieber’s mother was cited for leaving a popstar unattended. A memorial will be held on Thursday.
Producers of “Jersey Shore” confirmed today that cast member Jenni “JWoww” Farley has been infested with bed bugs. Parts of reality star, including her head and inner thighs, have been found to be harboring the parasites, prompting a quarantine from the rest of the cast.
JWoww is the latest victim of an epidemic that has been rampaging through the world of reality television over the summer. The bugs wreaked havoc in the Kardashian household when they were found to be nesting behind Bruce Jenner’s tightly-wound skin. The pests also caused a stir on the set of “Kendra,” when it was discovered that her eight-month-old child had been completely hollowed out by the creatures, leaving only a mummified outer shell of calcified skin.
“I can’t stand these bloodsuckers,” said a reality television producer who wished to remain anonymous. “And now that they have bed bugs, it’s even worse.”
Last night I had the misfortune of watching the 2010 (1431 A.H.) Emmy awards, and I am unable to recall a more offensive spectacle. Not since the pagan crusaders captured Jerusalem in 1099 (492 A.H.) has the Muslim world been so openly insulted by Christian barbarism.
Wave after wave of scantly dressed harlots paraded their flesh on the red carpet for all to see, yet not one actress was wearing a Burqua. Designers like Oscar de la Renta and Jean-Louis Scherrer Haute Couture continue to discriminate against Muslim women everywhere by ignoring the need for a stylish, sophisticated look that also completely conceals the vile temptations of the female form. I was so disgusted that I would have settled for the sight of Christina Hendricks in a Hijab, but even this proved too much for the decadent Hollywood prostitute.
The ceremony itself was no better. While I was pleased to see the host, Jimmy Fallon, was not a Jew, his song and dance numbers with the cast of “Glee” were beyond debauched. Not only is dancing with a non-familial relation strictly forbidden by Sharia law, but interacting in such a manner with teenagers is disgraceful. Those girls should be collecting a dowry and preparing themselves for marriage, not performing onstage like a common street walker.
I won’t even bring up the fact that not a single Muslim fundamentalist received an award. But would it have killed one of the winners to have called for the release Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, or at least paid lip service to the destruction of Israel? I thought Hollywood was supposed to be progressive?
I know the Emmys are an award show, but the only winner last night was the Zionist-Crusader alliance…and “Mad Men,” which is surprisingly tolerable.
Pop sensation Justin Bieber has been caught up in a bizarre sex scandal involving a manatee, CelebJihad has confirmed. The singer was photographed off the coast of Florida earlier this month frolicking and ultimately fornicating with the rotund aquatic beast.
According to witnesses, the manatee approached Bieber while he was swimming alone after shooting a video near Miami. After some initial flirting, and a playful chase, the bulbous creature flipped onto its stomach and presented its gigantic backside to the singer, signaling him to penetrate. Bieber obliged, and mounted the animal. The entire exchange lasted about two minutes.
Known for their friendly nature and their large size, curious manatees have often been spotted approaching beach goers. However, this is the first known case of human/manatee copulation. The animal involved was particularity large and dimwitted, leading experts to speculate that it may been have suffering from mental retardation, which could have caused the inter-species confusion.
Angelina Jolie, accused of killing her six children, made her first court appearance Wednesday afternoon before a magistrate. She is accused with suffocating her children and dumping the bodies in a dumpster behind a nearby Pink Berry.
The judge read Jolie the official charges against her.
Initially, Jolie claimed that she had nothing to do with the murders, but later confessed to “losing it” after “the Asian kid stepped on (her) god damn shoe, again.”
During questioning, Jolie also opened up about her mental state. According to investigators, Jolie’s last film, Salt, was panned by critics. In addition, she is still struggling with the fact that she slept with Billy Bob Thornton.
Justin Bieber has weighed on the controversy surrounding the so-called “Ground Zero” Mosque. In an interview with Tiger Beat, the pop sensation stressed that freedom of religion is what makes America great, and went on to say that those who oppose the Mosque are motivated by bigotry.
“Muslims should be allowed to build a mosque anywhere they want,” the singer said. “Coming from Canada, I’m not used to this level of intolerance, eh.”
Bieber went on to say that Muslims are “super cool,” Christians are “lame-o-rama,” and that the mosque will help “start a dialogue” with all religions about which Justin Bieber song is the most awesome.
“I was like seven when September 11th went down, and frankly I’m surprised people are still going on about it. Move on, already!”
Added the singer, “Everyone needs to just chillax and dance!”
