Selena Gomez thrashes her body around in a sports bra while (probably) tripping on drugs in the disturbing video above.

I don’t know if Selena Gomez sniffed too many cleaning products during her day job scrubbing toilets for rich “gringos” or if she is taking some fine Afghanistan grown opium, but she must be high in this video for no sober person can be this spastic and slutty at the same time.

Yes it is clear from the bra dancing video above that Selena Gomez has a problem, and not just her usual problem of her period being late. Yes unfortunately for Selena this problem can not be fixed with a wire hanger, as it is called addiction. The first step to overcoming addiction is for Selena to accept Allah into her heart. The next step is for her to wear the martyr vest into a synagogue. Let us hope Selena gets help soon!

Selena Gomez no bra

This weekend Selena Gomez attended the memorial service for her dead homie Paco “Jumping Bean” Sanchez, who was tragically gunned down outside of a Del Taco in East Los Angeles in yet another senseless enchilada related killing.

As you can see in the photos below, Selena Gomez kept it as classy as she is capable of for the funeral wearing a low cut long sheer black dress and no bra.

Naturally after seeing all the “eses” at Paco’s funeral, Selena’s nipples were as hard as freshly baked taco shells. However, Selena appears to have been able to distract herself from her grieving carnal desires by stealing a car and then a tacky silver necklace. No doubt Paco would have been proud.


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Selena Gomez jean shorts

Selena Gomez looks like some sort of slutty Mexican superhero, as she was photographed leaving her bi-weekly appointment at the abortion clinc in a cape, short jean shorts, and black leather knee high hooker boots.

From Selena Gomez’s perspective this outfit must be extremely practical. For the short shorts provide for ease of movement while cleaning the floors, as well as quick access to her burrito hungry taco cave. While the knee high boots not only conveys that she likes to f*ck, but they also protects her knees when she is at work scrubbing toilets.

However, I’ve yet to determine what this stupid long flowing cape shirt is for. Perhaps it is the closest thing Selena could find to a poncho, or perhaps it funnels the water off her back while she is picking lettuce. Either way it must also serve some sort of purpose for Selena’s sexual escapades. With this much extra material, jizz rag certainly seems the most obvious answer.


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Selena Gomez Emma Watson sex

Actresses Selena Gomez and Emma Watson appear to have renewed their torrid lesbian love affair, as they were photographed naked fondling each other while on a kitchen countertop (breaking numerous sanitation codes) in the picture above.

Of course this isn’t the first time that we have caught Selena and Emma about to engage in passionate lesboqueer love making, as the photo in this article came out nearly a year ago. However, since then Emma and Selena’s dyke out session must have stopped (probably because Selena Gomez let loose with one of her noxious taco farts while Emma was rimming her back hole) as we have not seen anything more from them until today.

Yes Selena Gomez and Emma Watson about to devour each others’ lady parts in this photo is certainly a disturbing sight. To think that Emma’s tonuge is about to swirl around in Selena’s mouth before it slowly makes its way down her body, teasing her nipples, sliding up her slit, and finally massaging her clit is making my tunic snake rigid with furious indignation. When will their debauchery end!

Selena Gomez cell phone

Nude photos of former Disney star Selena Gomez reportedly taken from her cell phone have just leaked to the Web.

No doubt Selena Gomez will feign being shocked and embarrassed by the leaking of these private nude pictures, and she will try to claim that her cell phone was hacked so that no one will state the obvious that her PR team leaked these pictures for attention.

Regardless of how they got out, the fact remains that Selena Gomez’s nude cell phone pictures are now part of the public record, and people will begin to speculate on whether Selena took these racy pictures for Justin Bieber, Orlando Bloom, Cara Delevingne, Paco The Donkey, or one of her numerous other lovers… but the smart money is on Paco.


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Selena Gomez naked

Selena Gomez spreads open her legs and lady lips in the naked photo above.

This Selena Gomez photo appears to be from the interrogation room of the San Ysidro crossing along the US-Mexico border. Selena often crosses this border while making her way back and forth between her jobs in Hollywood acting, singing, and scrubbing toilets, and her ones in Tijuana performing in the donkey shows.

Because of the heavy amount of drug trafficking on the Mexican border, US border patrol agents have to be thorough in their examination of potential drug mules. Of course they have yet to suspect Selena Gomez of smuggling, but every time she crosses she insists on having her orifices thoroughly examined (as in the naked photo above) by every border agent on duty just so their won’t be a misunderstanding.